Coming Home

My last day in Nicaragua before getting medically evacuated was spent at Galerias (the mall in Managua).  Though I was exhausted I just knew I could not go back to the states with my hair looking the way it did and I needed to get it cut ASAP.  I went an Americanized beauty salon I had heard about and spent about 600 cordobas (crazy amount as a volunteer) to get my haricut.  It was worth it.  I was there for over 2 hours getting pampered and served coffee while the hairdresser cut off 7 inches from my hair.  Even after it was cut my hair still went beyond my shoulders.  I didn’t realize how long my hair had become as I always keep it in a bun or in a braid but apparently it had gotten crazy long.  I also swung by the office to collect my traveling documents and say some see you laters to the PC staff then went back to the hotel to make sure I had everything I needed before the flight took off the next morning. 

I woke up at 4am to make sure I didn’t miss my 8 am flight and had a peace corps taxi pick me up and take me to the airport.  As we drove through Managua on the way to the airport it didn’t seem lke I had only been in country 6 months but so much longer.  At that point in time Nicaragua felt like home.  I had become use to the transportation, food and scary creatures climbing my bedroom walls.  As I waited in line at the airport I wondered if I would even like going home.  I became really nervous and anxious all at once.  During takeoff I looked out the window and saw the lush and beautiful lands Nicaragua offers and I started to cry.  I cried because I didn’t know if I would get the chance to come back…If I would be healthy enough to get back to work. 

As soon as I smelled the barbecue in the airport I knew I was back in the states, to be more specific Texas.  As I walked by the Salt Lick a part of me just wanted to grab some food while the bigger part of me was anxious to see Aaron who was picking me up at baggage claim.  Barbecue or the boyfriend…I chose the boyfriend for the time being.  As the elevator went down I saw him standing and waiting for me.  I did everything I could not to cry as soon as I saw him and somewhat succeeded.  He hugged me so tight I thought I wasn’t going to be able to breathe and I couldn’t stop trembling.  I was nervous and excited all at the same time.  It was a very strange situation…Not seeing someone after 6 months but talking to them every day and then bam everything should just be normal again…probably not. I had forgotten what it felt like to hold his hand or have someone hug or kiss me.  I don’t know how else to describe it except for weird, but in a good way.  It was kind of like getting to meet him all over again, which I loved. 

That evening we went to the Salt Lick for dinner and I can’t even tell you how much I had missed barbecue.  It was a great night and a great couple of days followed after.  I got to visit with friends, saw my family and got to go to Target 5 times in 4 days.  I use to have dreams about Target so going there was a priority for me.  Being back in Texas I did have some reverse culture shock.

•     You can flush toilet paper in the toilet
•      You don’t have to spray a whole bottle of off on your legs to go            somewhere.
•     You don’t need to speak Spanish (even though I miss it)
•     You can eat any type of food known to man
•     AC is something that is common
•     I almost cried walking in to both Central Market and Target because they are both AMAZING

 As for getting healthy and back on track…well it’s been a challenge.  First off there are not peace corps approved doctors, so I set up all appointments on my own but before I can be seen by a doctor it has to be approved by a Peace Corps nurse.  To have any further appointments the nurse has to receive all lab work and doctors notes then she has to consult with a Peace Corps doctor to see if he can approve me having more appointments.  It has been a little over 30 days and I still have no answers as to why I’m not 100%  and why my hemoglobin levels are not back to normal…even though the last time they checked (2 weeks ago) they had climbed up to 10.  The worst part of all of this is I am being denied treatment be Peace Corps until my doctors here can tell them exactly what happened.  So far my doctor’s best guess is that I contracted some weird viral infection that has wiped out my hemoglobin levels but until he can say how I got it Peace Corps won’t allow him to prescribe anything.  So I wait.  Every day I am just waiting for either an appointment to get approved or to get an answer from my doctor.  The hardest part of all of this is not feeling normal.  I haven’t felt normal now for over 2 months.  I haven’t run now for a month and a half.  I miss it so much and never thought I would be put in this position.

I have really mixed emotions at this time.  After my time here I have become used to being back home and being with my boyfriend and friends.  Another part of me misses the other peace corps volunteers tremendously.  I also miss going to Granada and working with the NGO there and I do miss working with at least 2 of my counterparts.  But there are a lot of things I don’t miss… The thoughts of going back and not going back both frighten me and I have no control over any of it.  I am here until the medical office tells me otherwise.

Getting Sick...

It began the last weekend in July.  I woke up on Friday and notice I had a rash all over my body.  I had hives on my face, lips, stomach, arms and legs.  I called the PCMO (PC medical office) and the on duty doctor advised me to go to a pharmacy and pick up some antihistamines and also get a full lab work up to make sure I did not have dengue.  My lab work came back normal and showed no signs of dengue; it also showed that my hemoglobin levels were normal (between 12 to 16).  The antihistamines that were initially prescribed   did not work; in fact it appeared to make things worse.  The next day he prescribed a different antihistamine that my wonderful site mate, Ailish, picked up for me in Granada.  That one did the trick and by Tuesday most of the hives had disappeared. 

Through the month of August I began to feel tired all the time.  I first noticed this when I was running.  I couldn’t run up to the Laguna like I normally did and instead went on flatter trails.  I thought I was just getting lazy.  I also noticed that I began running slower than I normally do but I again thought this was do to the heat (even though I’ve run in Texas summers the past 18 years and never had issues).  As the month went on things only got worse.  I began going to sleep at 9 or 9:30 and had difficulty waking up at 8 am.  I was getting 11 hours of sleep and thought I was just oversleeping but I really couldn’t wake up.  I started doing everything slower.  Walking to class began taking forever and once I got there I was out of breath and my heart was racing.  The second to last week of August I went for a run on a Sunday and on Monday I couldn’t get out of bed.  I was exhausted, my body ached and I had fever and chills.  By Tuesday I felt somewhat normal again.  I was still tired but figured I could go for a run.  I ran for 30 minutes before giving up and knowing I couldn’t go any further.  When I got home I struggled to take a shower.  After a couple of hours I decided I would do laundry.  Not a good idea.  I felt my legs starting to shake as I stood at the pila and caught myself before fainting.  I slowly walked back to my room and lied down the rest of the day.  The rest of the week I felt the same.  By Friday I had enough energy to get on the bus and go to Managua to see the PC doctors.  The doctors sent me to get blood work that Friday and on Saturday I got a call back from them.  The doctor told me that I had a UTI, very common here, and that I was severely anemic.  Within a month my hemoglobin levels had gone from 14 to 6.8.  The doctor asked me to come in on Sunday that way she could see me first thing Monday morning. 

Sunday morning was probably one of the worst days I had ever experienced in Nicaragua.  I had absolutely no energy and the medication the PC doctor prescribed me made me completely nauseous and on top of everything I was throwing up anything I ate.  I finally got enough energy to walk to the bus.  This was probably the worst bus ride ever.  I had a plastic bag ready to go.  I was hot, crammed between two giant men on the world’s most uncomfortable bus and thought my head was going to explode.  I finally made it into Managua an hour later and got to the hostel within 30 minutes.  That night I had fever and chills and the next morning I had difficulty walking to the office which is 10 minutes away.  Monday was a blur filled with more lab work.  By Tuesday they sent me to a doctor at the hospital who wanted to admit me on the spot.  I told him I would prefer not to be admitted but he insisted that if nothing changed I would be admitted on Wednesday.  Well nothing changed, in fact it got worse and I was admitted to Vivian Pelas hospital on Wednesday.  At this point I was exhausted and could barely walk from the car to the wheel chair waiting.  For the next 5 days that I was hospitalized I was given IV’s filled with potassium and magnesium and had blood taken from me twice a day.  I also had visits from specialists like nephrologists, hematologists, and a few others take a look at and none of them could figure out my case.  The highlight of my time in the hospital was when Ailish came and spent the night on the pull out couch.  We got to order papa johns pizza and Miguel brought me brownies that we devoured.  I also got a visit from my APCD who brought more sweets.  Even though I was hospitalized and a little freaked out it wasn’t terrible.  I had AC, cable TV and wifi.  It was almost like being home…except for the fact that I could not leave the floor and had an IV in my arm.  After my five day stay and barely any improvement and not being able to figure out what’s wrong with me the doctors decided they would send me back to Texas to see if the doctors here had any better luck. 

I was released from the hospital on Monday and was driven back to my site to pack up half of my valuables and belongings.  Going back was bittersweet.  I was excited to go home and see my loved ones and get better but I was extremely sad at the thought that I may not be returning.  Ailish came over and helped me pack half of my room.  I was advised to only take valuables just in case I didn’t return.  Everything else would stay put.  I had a half hour to pack up 3 months of my life, say goodby to my host family and then say goodbye to Ailish.  It was the hardest saying goodbye to her as we have become really good friends and I couldn’t imagine living there without her.  Oh and on top of it all I was going to miss her birthday in 2 days.  As I walked out of the house Diego hugged me and Melida blessed me and I was driven back to the hotel for 2 more nights in Managua.  

Missing life events & battling with tarantulas and rodents

This weekend one of my really good friends is getting married and sadly due to the “not allowed to leave the country for the first 6 months rule” I can’t be there.  Yesterday I went to the Peace Corps office for medical things and while I was there checked my mail.  I received on piece of mail…my friend’s wedding invitation for today.  I knew she was getting married today since I left the states but receiving that invitation made it real.  Just like their save the date which she also mailed to me here, it was beautiful.  I opened it and despite myself started to cry.  I cried for a couple of reasons.  One, I’m missing one of the best days of my friend’s life and she truly deserves a beautiful wedding. Secondly, these two are such a great couple you can’t help to want to be around them and I know there day will be so special.  I will also be missing out on seeing my friend’s future husband’s face when he sees her for the first time in her wedding dress which is always my favorite part, besides the cake. Lastly I cried because I’m so happy and excited for them!  I’m excited for their perfect day and I wish I could celebrate with them.   So yes I sat in the empty PCV room of the office crying. 

Missing out on life events is something everyone tells you will happen and most times you know it will happen before you leave  but I’m telling you right now, until the events take place you’re not prepared for it at least I wasn’t.  While I complete my service I will be missing out on at least 2 maybe 3 other weddings of friends (even though I’ll be allowed to go back to the states after this month, I can’t take vacation during certain parts of the year while I’m teaching, meaning I’ll have to miss some weddings ).  I’ve already missed out another friend’s baby being born and I know this will also happen once more.  It’s hard, but the thing that keeps me from going completely nuts is knowing that once I return home whether its to visit or for good I’ll get to be a part of all of my friends lives again and that makes me happy.

So I really have no idea how to transition from that to talking about that to creepy disgusting things so I’m just gonna do it…Last week after returning from a wonderful overnight trip to Granada I walked into my room threw my stuff down and went to get a glass of water.  When I returned I walked over to my bag, I had only moments ago thrown down, to get some headphones, when I noticed this black fury thing which reminded me of a fake spider.  I thought to myself, who would put a fake spider in my room?  Then it hit me, no you’re in Nicaragua this shit is real. I ran to the other room to tell my host dad “Yo tengo una araña en mi cuarto. Ayudame!”  He entered my room with a baseball bat in his hands.  I showed him where it was and he took a swing at it, missed and the thing scurried.  Diego chased after it and finally succeeded in squishing its guts out.  Totally gross. Last night once again as I returned home from dinner I entered my room and immediately saw another tarantula on the far wall on the opposite side of my room.  I was on the phone with Aaron and this time remained calm told him I had another spider and I’d call him back.  Diego had the same routine and walked in with his baseball bat.  This time he took one swing and didn’t miss.  The tarantula was dead. 

I returned to my bed and got under my mosquito and thought I’m awesome I can totally deal with spiders.  About an hour later I got up to get some milk from the kitchen.  I grabbed a glass and was pouring the milk when out of nowhere about 3 feet away from me a rat fell from the ceiling and onto the kitchen counter.  I lost my shit…sorry no better way to explain it.  I screamed and my host dad came running.  The rat stayed on the kitchen counter attempting to climb up the wall, so gross, I turned away as Diego went to get his baseball bat.  I went to my room as I heard Diego continually try to kill the rat with his bat.  This time no luck…the rat remained alive.  Diego searched for it for an hour and couldn’t find it.  It was at this point I decided I probably wasn’t going to sleep and I’m not awesome because I definitely can’t deal with rats.  Honestly that was the first time I’d ever seen a rat in my life  (I saw a mouse not to long ago but a rat…..NO!)  So how did the rat fall from the ceiling, well like most houses in Nicaragua the walls don’t go all the way up to the ceiling and there is a gap.  This means rats and mice can crawl up the walls and walk or fall of the ledges into homes.  What this means for me, as much as I like my host family, I’m going to start looking for a new place one with walls that go to the celling. 

So lot’s has happened and it’s only Saturday morning.  I’m heading out to Managua today to hang out with 2 other PCV’s to grab lunch and try to take my mind off things.  Nothing like an hour and a half bus ride filled with a million people to really start my day off right J.

What the Hell am I doing here?

Everyday this question pops into my head.  On really hard days this is all I think about. But not for one second have I seriously considered marching into the Peace Corps office and telling my boss I quit.  Why haven’t I?  Because I knew this was going to be harder than any job I’ve ever had and I also was told it would be the most rewarding… and so far it has been both.  Now when I say hard what I mean is getting accustomed to certain things like: having no water for a couple of hours during the day (usually right after I come home from running),   riding on a non-air conditioned bus filled with more than double the occupancy and people hanging off the back, getting cat called at every time I walk out my door, hand washing my laundry in a pila (which can be therapeutic until the bus start eating my ankles), the mosquitos everywhere ( I think they actually like off spray),  random fiestas that last for a month (seriously people have been carrying San Pedro around the streets of my town for a month accompanied by a band that explodes bombas or fireworks at the most random times of the day), bartering for less than 40 cents when a moto taxi driver tells me I have to pay 30 cords when I know I should only pay 20 cords (I have become the cheapest person here), all of the noise (roosters, chickens, dogs, cows all hours of the day) and emaciated street dogs that poop and pee everywhere.   So yes some of these things make my life here stressful but it’s a very different kind of stress from I had in the states. 

When I was preparing to graduate college all I could think was that I needed a job. I didn’t really know what kind of job so I took one that paid well but made me stress to the point where I literally sat in front of 2 male bosses and cried my eyes out.  Overworked was an understatement.  After that I took another job to get out of the job I hated only to find out a year later that this job was way worse…I ended up working at that job for 4 years…the last year I cried almost every day  on my way to work (thanks mom for listening to me cry).  What was wrong with those jobs?  Well I could blame the incompetent management but really it was me.  I wasn’t suited for those jobs and every day I worked at those jobs I asked myself, “What the hell am I doing here?”  (Please note my last job before PC I really loved and it was hard to walk away from it because I worked with great people.)  In those jobs I wasn’t living up to my potential which made me so unhappy.  For me both of those jobs were mindless and I felt like every day was ground hogs day.  I was having the same conversations with the same people on repeat.  I knew I couldn’t do that for the rest of my life.

So what’s the difference between those jobs and my job now…Everyday even on the hard ones I can answer my question, What the hell am I doing here?  I was wasting time before Peace Corps; but if I hadn’t had terrible experiences I would not be able to appreciate the good ones.  Peace Corps is a good experience.  I learn something every day and once in a while I get to teach something to.   So what the hell am I doing here? 

• ·         I am working with teachers and co- teaching entrepreneurship classes in high schools
• ·         I am learning about my community and how I can make a difference here
• ·         I am fundraising and writing grants for Empowerment International which is an amazing organization and really makes a difference in the lives of kids.
• ·         I am teaching students and colleagues that they do have opportunities if they can just think outside of the box (something discouraged in Nicaragua).
• ·         I am learning a different language (finally using my brain for something)
• ·         I am learning how to live simply, what most of the world does anyway, so why should it be different for me.
• ·         I am learning to understand and appreciate a different culture
• ·         I am learning to have patience (I struggle with this daily)
• ·         I am learning to appreciate life and just relax (very Nicaraguan)
• ·         I am learning to not take things for granted (water, comfortable bed, hot showers, pretzels, sweet tarts and apples…these last things I’m missing more than hot showers J)
• ·         I am learning how to make a long distance relationship work (I think I have it easier than most as I talk to Aaron every day and less face it he’s pretty much the best guy ever)
• ·         I am learning to be self-confident and appreciate myself more

What the hell am I doing here?   I am challenging myself to live a full life by helping others, helping myself, doing something different and appreciating the time I have here.  No regrets.

The Creeper Incident and Nicaraguan Idol

I was waiting at the bus stop for a friend when a drunk man started stumbling toward me with the usual comments most Nicarguan men say to me or any other “gringa” (totally weird that I’m considered a gringa here).  As he approached more closely I moved and continued to ignore him.  My friend arrived shortly after and we stood waiting for our bus.  As he continued his drunken comments I was honestly surprised that the other Nica men who were at the stop didn’t intervene and tell him to go sleep it off on some street corner.  No comments were made from any of the 4 men that were there, they looked more entertained than anything else which really just pissed me off.  I put up with the drunken comments for what seemed like forever but was about 20 minutes before our bus arrived and we took off. 

Two days after on Tuesday I was walking back from the cyber after talking with Aaron when the procession of the saint and all the people came down the street. The same drunk man was the first to approach me and made some comment about seeing me run every day.  I blew past him and went home.  About 30 minutes later as I was reading in bed the same drunk man starts screaming on my street.  I love you he said in English, “Te quiero” .  I pretty much wanted to throw up.  He continued his antics right outside of my window which faces the streetI was not only scared but mortified, he was doing this in front of my neighbors.  The crazy drunk even asked Diego to open the door for him so he could talk to me. It was at this time I came out of my room and asked my host mom what was going on and she assured me, “Don’t worry, we won’t open the door.”  I didn’t feel that reassured so I slept with a pair of scissors under my pillow and barricaded my bedroom door with a rocking chair. The next day I called the Peace Corps Security guy who is pretty much the coolest guy ever.  He took all of my information and told me he would come to my house that day.  When he showed up he pretended it was just a routine security visit.  He met with my neighbors, my host family and the police.  He asked my neighbors and my host family about the incident the previous night and if they knew the drunks name.  They did.  Apparently this guy is the “big” drunk of the town, which is pretty hard to become considering all of the heavy drinking that goes on here especially during fiesta patronales (to be honest seeing people drink in excess has put me off alcohol entirely, for the time being).  Oh and to make matters worse this guy has mental problems…just my luck. After he me with my family and neighbors he visited the police station and reported the incident on my behalf. 

Since then I haven’t been bothered by the creeper drunk guy and I don’t sleep with scissors under my pillow.

…And now for the truly good part of the blog…Nicaraguan Idol.  So this was one of the first things I had been told after becoming a volunteer that I would be asked to judge an English singing competition.  I couldn’t wait.  My chance finally came this past Tuesday.  I was asked to show up a bit early for the competition so we could start at exactly noon.  Of course in  true Nica form the competition started 2 hours later J…The competition was held in one of the rural schools I co-teach at and I was the only judge that really spoke English.  One judge was a teachers brother who spoke hardly any English and the other was an English professor from the district who could speak more.  So as my professor said I would be the judge that would score the hardest, but I couldn’t.  These kids were getting up in front of their entire school singing songs in a different language, I had to cut them some slack.  I definitely wouldn’t be able to do that.  Honestly, the only time I’ve ever sang songs in Spanish was when I was a little girl and would sing Luis Miguel songs to my mom and grandma for their entertainment. 

There were 7 groups of students and some of their song choices were pretty awesome.  I was serenaded by Rhianna, Backstreet Boys, Lady Gaga and the Offspring.  The offspring song was my favorite, not because these girls were good but because the only word they pronounced correctly in the entire song was the F word.  The song they sang was you’re gonna go far kid, which chorus says “so dance fucker dance”.  When they first said it I thought no they’re not saying that in school but yup they were.  I’m pretty sure I was the only one who picked up on it and had to stop myself from laughing.  By the end of the contest there was unfortunately a 3 way tie between Rhianna, Lady Gaga and Backstreet boys, which meant the groups would have to sing again.  Not only were my ears aching from the singing but from the worst sound system ever that I was seated in front of. By the end of this round we had a clear winner…Lady Gaga. The groups were judged on tone, pronunciation, knowing the lyrics and stage presence.  Lady Gaga won because of the pronunciation and knowing the lyrics but as far as entertainment goes Rhianna group had my vote.  These girls sang Diamond and had a dance routine and had glitter everywhere.  It was a pretty entertaining experience and one I hope to do again soon.

Fiesta Patronales and a Close Call

Two weekends ago was the start of Fiesta Patronales in Diria.  It started off with Hipica which is basically a horse festival where people come and bring their horses and have them “dance” which is really just some trotting.  Fiesta Patronales honors the saint of my town who is San Pedro and for 2 plus weeks they have been carrying around his statue throughout the town during the strangest of times.  They parade around the pueblo with him in all hours of the night and morning and not only have a very obnoxiously loud band with them but they have bombas which are the equivalent of fireworks except 10 times louder.  To say I haven’t had much sleep in the last 2 weeks is an understatement.  But I guess like everything else here its an experience. 

Two Sundays ago after my host family’s family came over for a celebratory lunch my host mom was cleaning up.  I was in my room when I heard her scream “Diego, who is my host uncle and her brother”.  At first I didn’t think anything of it but she continued then I hear her scream I’m going to die.  That’s when I decided I should probably head to the kitchen to see what was going on.  When I got to the kitchen she was grasping at her throat and said she drank poison.  I thought to myself why would you do that?  Diego brought me a water bottle that had pink liquid in it and told me that’s what she drank.  Apparently the domestica had made a cleaning mixture and had put it in a water bottle and Melida thought it was her water and drank it.  As Melida sat in her rocking chair praying I asked Diego what to do…he said we will wait… Kind of strange to me but okay.  I asked Melida if she needed anything and she said milk.  When I opened the fridge there was no milk just my chocolate milk I had planned to have later, but the nice person I am I offered it to her.  She said she needed whit milk so I ran over to the neighbors asked them for some milk and then told them why I needed it.  Of course after that there were a ton of people in my house trying to diagnos melida and everyone was smelling the concoction of cleaner.  After about 20 minutes during which Melida kept asking for a doctor, Diego gave in got in a moto taxi and went for the doctor.  He returned with the doctor in less than 5 minutes.  The doctor was just as calm as Diego, I suspect this isn’t the first time he has been called over to the house for an “emergency” .  As the doctor took her vitals he was cracking jokes with the neighbors and told them she would be fine, even though at this point we still don’t know what she drank…As he smelled the liquid he concluded it was probably just soap and water but to call him later if the domestica told her there was something else in it…and like that he left.  As people began leaving I said goodnight to Melida and she hugged me and said if she dies tonight that I should stay in the house with Diego and that I am a good person.  The next day Melida was alive and kicking eating all sorts of Nacatamales for breakfast.  Turns out it was just soap and water.

That was unxpected...

Today was a good day.  Number 1 its Friday and it’s a free day. I don’t have plans so I lie around in bed, have coffee, and start planning Aaron’s vacation when he comes to visit. After, I head out for my normal run up to the mirador (up the never ending hill I force myself to run up twice) and then decide to go to the grocery store.  Before I head out anywhere especially for my run I mentally prepare myself for remarks that will surely be made by Nica Men.  Whether its cat calls, blowing kisses at me or sounding like Gollum from lord of the rings by calling me preciosa I try to prepare myself by taking a moment, throwing some punches or reminding myself why I’m here.  I’m prepared…Well I thought I was.  What I wasn’t prepared for was getting verbally assaulted by an Expat in a Pali.  I’m use to taking hits from Nica Men but from another American while I’m in Nicaragua…definitely not.

I walked into Pali and had my handy Peace Corps tote bag to carry my umbrella and groceries.  I picked out my stuff and saw what looked to be either an American man or German in there too.  This is uncommon and of course he stands out.  I get behind the American in line to checkout and he starts ranting to the cashier about how terrible America is. First he said to the woman cashier that Nica women are more beautiful than American women, which fine to each his own, but then he starts making outrageous remarks about our President, the first lady and the US.  He finished his rant by telling the cashier that President Daniel Ortega is the best President. The whole time this man is ranting the cashier is just looking at me waiting for me to say something.  She looks as puzzled as I do.  I had plenty to say but my mom raised me better than that and I took the high road.  I looked at him and said in Spanish “I am a Peace Corps volunteer and I will be living here for 2 years.  Have a nice day.” He left.

After he left the woman cashier just looked at me in disbelief that I hadn’t reacted and said “He’s crazy”.  She then proceeded to tell me that she sees me run every day and I must really love it because I run a lot.  I told her I did and thanked her for checking me out.

I guess being here I’m never going to be fully prepared for anything and I just need to go with the punches.  I could have reacted, I had plenty to say to him, but that wouldn’t have done me any good.  The cashier would have thought I was just as crazy as him and two Americans fighting in bad Spanish in a Nicaraguan super market would be pretty ridiculous and have the whole town talking.  I’m glad I didn’t react the way I could have.  I feel better about myself and have no regrets for the way I handled the situation.  The silver lining here, the Nica cashier totally had my back.  She seemed more offended than I was.  

Why I will stop complaining, suck it up and enjoy being here…

Every day here is a battle. I’m not going to lie, every other hour or every minute my mood can change here.  It’s like constantly having PMS most days.  I wake up most days thinking What the hell am I doing here; especially on weekends when all I want to do is have pancakes with my boyfriend at Magnoli or run on townlake without people cat calling.  The simple things I took for granted are what I am missing the most…It’s times when I’ve hit the bottom that something good always happens.  It could be as simple as a little kid smiling at me and saying hello to me in broken English.  Or like this morning when I  thought today is the day I pack my things and my host mom comes in and offers to teach me how to make mango fresca.  At first I wasn’t in the mood but she brought the mangos in from the backyard and showed me…Then I had the most delicious mango juice for breakfast (maybe not as delicious as chocolate chip pancakes but a million times healthier J). 

It’s not easy and I know no one ever told me Peace Corps was going to be easy.  They say it’s the hardest job you’ll ever love.  As I may not love all parts of the Nica culture there are things I do like about it.  Especially how warm and inviting families are.  I have broken down on multiple occasions sobbing in front of language teachers and my host families.  These people don’t know me, especially my new family but it hasn’t failed when this happens they give me words of encouragement, rub my back or in the case of my new family they hug me and tell me it’s going to be okay.  I’m not proud to say that I actually cry in front of people because it’s actually usually very hard for me to cry in front of people, it takes a lot, but here I’m an emotional train wreck … but I have a ton of support.

So today I am going to enjoy my mango fresca, not think about how much I miss Aaron and a “normal life” but instead I will go for a run and be happy about being here because I chose this.

It's official ...I'm a volunteer

So as of today I have been in Nicaragua for 3 months (24 months to go).  Training was definitely hard and really not a pleasant experience for anyone that doesn’t like to be told when, where, and what they need to be doing.  I felt I didn’t have a moment to myself during training.  If I wasn’t working on preparing for class, preparing for the youth group, going to class, going to the youth group then I was learning Spanish or studying for it.  There really is no downtime and I am constantly exhausted (after effects of training).

On the plus side I did have some very positive experiences during training.

•  The first was our youth group.   Our youth group was comprised of 7 13-14 year olds from a private school who had to make a product, test the product with potential consumers, create a business plan and give a presentation at the Business Fair competition.  I got really lucky with my group.  Our kids were so motivated and they wanted to win.  They put in hard work and really made an effort. Their product was Cale-pizza (pizza on a tortilla named after the kid whose idea it was).  They ended up selling their product at school and made a profit every time.  They also placed 3^rd in the Competition and I was really proud of them.
•  My family…yes there were many many times when I thought I could not live there one more second but then I was remembered how many times I felt that way growing up with my own family…that’s just the way families are.  My host mom during training was one of the sweetest women I have ever met.  She knew I was a picky eater and made me my own food that I would eat.  She also gave me fruit every morning for breakfast (instead of gallo pinto) because she knew I loved fruit.  She taught me how to cook (well some things…I’m a beginner), she found a woman who made peanut butter and gave it to me, and she took care of me when I didn’t feel well.  Upon my leaving she hugged me told me to come eat lunch or dinner at the house anytime and told me I needed to come back soon. 
•  Meeting the other volunteers…We all went through training together, we all got annoyed with each other and we were all there for each other when it came down to it.  I was very lucky to have a training site mate that always had my back even though at times we fought like brother and sister he helped me keep my cool (for the most part) and we got each other through training.  I am also very lucky to have gotten close to 2 very different girls but ultimately these girls have been there for me when I need to vent, cry or just have fun.  We’re a group no matter how close or far we are from eachother.

So the last time I left off on this blog I was about to find out where I’d be placed for the next 2 years…well I did and I am now in my first week in site in Diria, Granada.  The town is about 30 minutes away from Granada and even closer to Mombacho than San Juan de Oriente (and I still get to run to the Laguna and I’m only about 15 minutes from my training townJ).  It’s a fairly small town with about 7,000 people and Diriomo (another site with 2 volunteers) is across the highway.  I am living with 2 older folks who are brother and sister and very kind.  Dona Melida and her brother Diego have welcomed me into their home and both are very caring.  In fact Diego reminds me very much of my grandpa.  He’s a very thin man and he is a tailor for the community.  It’s funny because my grandpa knew how to sew too and gave me my first singer sewing machine.  When I was not feeling well this week both he and Melida asked me what I needed, if they needed to get a doctor and asked me every time they saw me how I was feeling.  My room is here is very nice and the only thing I really need is a fan.  I have a huge armoire they repainted for me and Melida made some new curtains for the armoire even though the other ones were just fine but she thought they looked “muy feo”.  I have running water here, a shower, flushing toilet and a huge kitchen I can use whenever I want.  Oh and my internet Claro stick works so much better here…well when it isn’t raining.  My only complaint …BEETLES…huge ones.  They fly into my room at night and if im not under my mosquito net they will fly around me.  The other night one flew onto my head and I’ve also stepped on them in the middle of the night …GROSS! But it could be worse…mice, scorpions, beetles are definitely not that bad. 

Even after 3 months here I’m still getting use to the culture and food.  I have already had one parasite and my stomach hasn’t felt normal for the past week.  I guess it comes with the territory of living here.  Also, I don’t think I will ever get use to the cat calling that goes on here.  Yesterday I was walking with a fellow volunteer and a man with across his chest while on a cellphone called out to us. All I could think is seriously! You have a baby on your chest…It gets old real fast. It could honestly make a person want to stay indoors all day.  Good news is when I run I can no longer here them because I blast my music so loud.  It’s one solution. 

I have had several “American Experiences”…mostly during swearing in.  I was able to watch 2 movies in Managua which were the highlight of my swearing in weekend and I enjoyed a nice hot shower for 3 days and a pool.  It was pretty fantastic.  I also went to a wonderful restaurant in Managua called El Segndo which has upscale dining.  I definitely needed it after 3 months of being deprived.  I know how lucky I am to be able to take a “break” from this life I live and enjoy things I took for granted on a daily basis.  Being here once again only proves to me how blessed and lucky we are to be Americans.  We have so much of an advantage just being born as US citizens its mind blowing.  Until getting here I never knew how truly lucky we are.  That being said the people here are warm, inviting and loving.  Even though they know what we have in the states and in developed countries they don’t hold grudges.  In fact they have welcomed me into their homes and have cared for me as their own.  I am lucky to be here and I know I am not missing anything back home because nothing has changed, not really.  Life goes on there as it does here.  I am able to talk to my boyfriend every day and we have better more honest conversations now that I’m here than we ever did when I was home.  Being away from the person you love the most in the world puts everything into perspective.  I know after this period in my life I never want to be separated from him again and luckily for me he feels the same.  In less than 3 months he will be here to visit me and I will get to be held in his arms.  Definitely something to look forward to.  

Laguna Apoyo and Running in Nica

So 2 weekends ago before semana santa, my site mate and I were taken to Laguna Apoyo where a lot of tourist and Nicas go.  Normally people will drive down through Masaya but we decided to hike down.  It’s a 30 minute hike down through a very rocky and dirty trail.  I’m not going to lie, I was scared that I would fall, which of course I ended up doing ( I’m not very coordinated) but luckily I landed on my butt.  While we were going down young boys zoomed by us running down the dangerous trail in flip flops or chinelas or even barefoot…pretty awesome but the grown up inside me wanted to warn them to be cautious and slow down.  I’m pretty sure they would have laughed at me so I kept my mouth shut.  On the way down I was too focused on not falling and did not take in my beautiful surroundings.  We finally reached our destination and I have one word that can describe it… breathtaking!  The lake is absolutely itself is in a “crater” of land and the water is somewhat salty but so clean.   The weekend we went it wasn’t too crowded and I was able to swim out and enjoy the water without anyone really being near me.  It was so peaceful and relaxing and I’m going to have to do it again.  After we swam for an hour we got out and we were drying off when a nica mom came over to us and shared some of her desserts with us.  I forgot the name of the dessert but it was jocotes (a common fruit here) smothered in a sugary and caramel tasting sauce it was very rich but her actions totally describe the way most of the people here in Nicaragua are…very warm and inviting J.  After we devoured the dessert we were ready to attempt the hike back up.  This time I wasn’t as nervous as I had pretty much prepared myself for hiking by taking advantage of the stair master at the Rec Center.  As we were hiking up I was able to see that I was surrounded by basically a jungle that included mokeys!  This was my first time actually seeing a monkey that wasn’t in a zoo so I was pretty excited.  Our surroundings were beautiful despite a very long and tiring hike up, approximately 40 or 45 minutes straight up.  It was an amazing experience.

The day after our hike I found out that my host cousin (he speaks English really well and his job is to teach foreigners Spanish so he and I get along great) runs around the laguna every day…for the most part.  He invited me to run with him and I took him up on his offer.  Before we took off the run he asked me what difference was between running and jogging. I told him jogging is a more casual pace and you can normally hold a conversation with the other person you are with.  He told me we would be jogging and didn’t understand why anyone would waste their time running.  I chose not to answer and see why he thought jogging was so great (to be clear I haven’t jogged in 10 years…I’m a runner).  As we jogged around the top of the laguna I found out why he would rather jog then run.  If I’m jogging I can take in and appreciate the beautiful surroundings, see more monkeys, and see some pretty unbelievable sights that I’ll only get to experience for a short time.   Also, I get to work on my Spanish while we jog and he corrects me and has me repeat my sentences while we’re on our run.  It’s a pretty good way to practice my Spanish. 

We have gone on several jogs since the first time and each time I see something I hadn’t noticed before.  When I’m jogging I’m not constantly thinking about the amount of calories I have burned or how I really need to run faster and harder.  When I’m jogging I have pleasant conversations and sometimes choose not to think at all.  I’ll still continue to go for runs on my own but they won’t be everyday or as hardcore as they were in the states.  Instead I’ll prefer to enjoy the time I have here and not focus too much on training (this may change if I decide to do the marathon or half marathon around the volcano next February but for now I’m content). 

As for the food and staying healthy, well my host mom, for the most part, has figured out what I like and don’t like to eat.  I usually have a big breakfast which consist of eggs(She makes the most amazing eggs!) and a ton of fruit.  For lunch I either have some soup with vegetables and/ or chicken and some beans and more fruit.  Dinner is the smallest meal of the day for Nica’s, something I’m still getting use to even though it makes the most sense, and I normally have a small portion of gallo pinto a couple of fried plantains and a small amount of beef, eggs or chicken.  And of course fruit…I’m really lucky I get so much fruit I love it, especially the mangos. 

Because this blog is already crazy long I have a short note on semana santa…  There really wasn’t much going on during semana santa with my family unlike other volunteers we stayed home.  Our town had a procession Friday night and of course the “Bombas” were not stop throughout the week and nights.  Bombas are bombs or fireworks with no display.  Basically they are loud noises that go off throughout the entire week even during the middle of the nights.  Earplugs can’t protect you from them.  I was not a fan of the bombas.  I did get to see some pretty cool processions in neighboring towns and some really cool displays in front of the houses.

For the most part I really like being here…it would be even better if Aaron could find some star trek like contraption and magically come hang out with me on occasion but since that’s not a possibility we are dealing as best as we can and luckily I get took talk to him via text, chat or sometimes even facetime when we’re really lucky.  I have yet to have a bad day here.  I do have bad moments but they don’t fill my day.  Usually my family or even complete strangers make my days great just by stopping to say hello.  Another saving grace here is the children.  They are absolutely the most adorable kids I’ve seen in my life and they are so loving.  Even the female students give me hugs before and after class and these are middle school kids…pretty unbelievable but a pleasant surprise nonetheless.

Next week I get to visit a current volunteer for 4 days which should be pretty interesting.  Thanks for reading and after this week, I would have been here one month…26 more to go J (And only 13 until Aaron visits). 

I love and miss you all!

Mari

I'm pretty Lucky

I feel really lucky…

So far I feel really lucky to be here in Nica.  Sure most of my days have their ups and downs and I miss Aaron constantly bur for the most part I’m really enjoying life here.  My family is amazingly nice and It didn’t take long to adjust to no running water and sleeping under a mosquito net.  After Im done with class, which normally ends at 3 I either venture to the cyber, study some more or take a nap before heading out for a run around 4…it’s too hot to run at 3 or even four sometimes…Spanish class is going well.  I still think I need to study more and that Im not learning at a fast enough rate but I know that with patience and time the language will come.  I have gotten to meet some amazing people here especially the student s and the teachers that I am working with.  I am really enjoying meeting the students and getting to work with them.  They have been so welcoming  and the girls in the class have even taken to hugging me when they say hello and or goodbye J

Some things I’ve noticed:

My Nica mom is the head of my family for sure…as petite and nice as she is I can tell that no one in the family would ever want to get into an argument with her…this could be because she has an Indaina Jones style whip she uses on their dogs when they beg for food.  As much as it pains me to see a dog getting whipped I know the use for their dogs is much different then how we use dogs in the states. Their dogs serve solely as protectors of the family compound at night and scare off cats and rats and protect us and the chickens from strangers.  I feel much safer with the dogs here. 

Another element of Nica culture that I’m loving and getting use to is the slow paced lifestyle.  When I wake in the morning I am in no rush to head out of the house.  For the first time in my life, since I was a child, I am actually sitting down to eat my breakfast and have my coffee.  I get out for breakfast around 7:20 and my walking commute to Kyle’s house (the other trainee in my town) is less than a minute which is really niceJ.  Even studying Spanish is more relaxed.  We study on the balcony of Kyle’s house and there is always a cool breeze blowing which makes it ideal for studying.  In the afternoon we normally walk around the small pueblo meeting new people and introducing ourselves and we try to explain what our mission in Nica is. 

Nicas are very proud of the way they dress.  You will never ever see a Nicarguan dressed in nike shorts and a tshirt at a college or school.  Nicas only where shorts, tshirts or flip flops around the house when they are not expecting company.  When the kids go to school their uniforms are always pressed and very clean.  Shoes are even shined.  When my host sister goes to university she wears nice slacks and a nice top.  Nicas would take offense if someone showed up in shorts, chanclas and a tee to class.  I really like how much pride they take in what they wear.

Rolling blackouts…Now I know how Californians feel…

I experienced my very first blackout last night.  Luckily I had my headlamp and 2 other flashlights.  My family on the other hand had 3 maybe 4 candles to light the outdoor living room.  The outage brought the family closer together and instead of complaining about the tv not turning on they serenaded each other with songs and talked.  Even though the power was out my mom still managed to get the entire family fed.  It was pretty impressive and made me think if that had happened to me in the states I would have been complaining for sure…

Everyone has been really friendly….When I go for a run or am walking around town everyone says hello or “adio…” some of the kids even run alongside me  for a while.  Of course there are the occasional whistles/catcalls but they don’t really bother me as I have been told they are all too common here. 

Only issue so far…and not really an issue….the mosquitos.  I have been bitten all over my legs and of course the bites have swelled and turned red.  Knowing my body I figured it would go away in a week but so many people told me to call the PC medical office so I finally did.  The doctor has prescribed medicine that I will get tomorrow but they are pretty confident they are just mosquito bites.  I’m actually really impressed with the Peace Corps staff.  I feel I am asked constantly if I’m feeling ok and healthy and safe.  Its nice knowing so many people care.

And finally…

I have a cell phone!  I still can’t call out to the states but I’m able to text which has been so nice.  Even though I miss certain things in the states...I’m enjoying the new adventure and I am excited to get through training and into my permanent site.  For the first time in my adult life I feel like I’m accomplishing something every day and it’s an awesome feeling!  And today when I was running I realized I'm living my dream...I'm finally getting to live abroad :)

Next week begins Semana Santa or the beginning of Easter and the celebrations here in Nica are supposedly huge.  Can’t wait to see and tell you all about it!

I miss you all and send my love!

My Site and My first Nica Family:

My Site and My first Nica Family:

Saturday, The day we meet our families has arrived.  We departed Hotel Ticomo at noon and boarded buses to drop off the other trainees in Niquinohomo, and Masatepe, before getting to my pueblo, San Juan de Oriente.  After we dropped off Kyle at Dona Sylvias the bus went across the street and dropped me off with my family.  I got out of the bus with my language teacher, Blanca, and she introduced me to Lucia, my Nica mom.  Lucia is very petite and friendly woman.  She proceed to introduce me to her giant family.  The family goes something like this:  Lucia Ruiz is the grandmother and Justo is the grandfather…they are my parents.  They have 2 sons and a daughter I think.  I don’t really remember there children’s names but one son has a son named Kenny who speaks a little bit of English and has been helping me with my Spanish.  Kenny is 29 and his wife is 29 and they have 2 sons.  Kenny has 2 sisters one who is 22 and one who is 12 and they are really nice to me and have been helping me a lot.  When you enter the house on the right side is a “comedor” where the family sells lunch and dinner plated but it is not a restaurant because you pick up homemade food and there is only one item or plate on the menu.  That being said the food here is amazing.  Anywho you enter the house between two large gates, that are locked at night, and as you enter the gates you are inside the families living and dining room which is all outdoors and faces the kitchen which is also outdoors and has a tin roof.  Everyone gathers here because it’s the coolest, Temperature wise, place in the house.  There is no floor as its outside so the dirt is the floor.  The bedrooms surround the outdoor living space and they are somewhat inside except the roof doesn’t attach so there is a breezeway between the ceiling therefore I have to use my mosquito net when I sleep.  My room is orange and there were Christmas decorations on it when I entered so I take that as a good sign. The room is small but clean. They gave me a fan and I have electricity which is better than a lot of other people.  Kyle’s house is really nice and everything is indoors except the shower but he has a really nice balcony that we overlook the town and we will be having class there.   Saturday night was pretty interesting and I found it hard to sleep.  It was fairly warm and the dogs were barking and roosters were crowing constantly throughout the night.  Saturday was spent getting to know everyone and they served me lunch and dinner.  Today, Sunday, I got up “late”: 8:30 and ate breakfast: eggs, avocados, bread and fruit from our property:  mandarins, mangos, and bananas.  It was delicious …and coffee.  Kyle and I went for a long run around town and back.  After we came back I took my first bucket bath since my family doesn’t have running water.  This consists of me standing in a shower and getting a cup and dipping it in a water bucket and pouring it on myself.  Because there is no hot water this is kind of nice because it’s not cold water spewing at me constantly.  After we ate lunch I met Kyle and Janelle, the other trinee, and we took a moto taxi to Catarina.  Catarina is a very tourist town with amazing views of the lake and volcano.  We tried to find a cyber to get wi-fi (Kyle has a girlfriend he was trying to get a hold of (they’ve only been dating a month!)) and we walked for an hr looking for it and trying to explain to people in broken Spanish what we needed.  When we finally got there it was close.  Apparently it doesn’t open until 6 pm and we have to be back home by 5.  After our exploration we came back and I studies some more then was taken out to dinner by Kenny’s dad, mom, his sisters, Kenny’s wife and the babies.  We drove to Niquinohomo to eat.  I sat on the back of a pickup and it was awesome …the sun was setting and it was breezy and just so nice.  Upon entering the restaurant there was a guard with a rifle guarding the restaurant… CRAZY!  But the restaurant was good and I had some of the best tortillas and fried chicken ever.  You’d be jealous.  Now it’s time for bed…Spanish class at 8 am then I’m going to try to go to the cyber after class to email you this letter.  I just want you to know that Friday I get my phone and I will be able to text and call you once I have it.  Kyle is trying to figure out how to turn his iphone into a hotspot?? Can I do that with my phone?  Or do I need to upgrade?