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Today was a good day.  Number 1 its Friday and it’s a free day. I don’t have plans so I lie around in bed, have coffee, and start planning Aaron’s vacation when he comes to visit. After, I head out for my normal run up to the mirador (up the never ending hill I force myself to run up twice) and then decide to go to the grocery store.  Before I head out anywhere especially for my run I mentally prepare myself for remarks that will surely be made by Nica Men.  Whether its cat calls, blowing kisses at me or sounding like Gollum from lord of the rings by calling me preciosa I try to prepare myself by taking a moment, throwing some punches or reminding myself why I’m here.  I’m prepared…Well I thought I was.  What I wasn’t prepared for was getting verbally assaulted by an Expat in a Pali.  I’m use to taking hits from Nica Men but from another American while I’m in Nicaragua…definitely not.

I walked into Pali and had my handy Peace Corps tote bag to carry my umbrella and groceries.  I picked out my stuff and saw what looked to be either an American man or German in there too.  This is uncommon and of course he stands out.  I get behind the American in line to checkout and he starts ranting to the cashier about how terrible America is. First he said to the woman cashier that Nica women are more beautiful than American women, which fine to each his own, but then he starts making outrageous remarks about our President, the first lady and the US.  He finished his rant by telling the cashier that President Daniel Ortega is the best President. The whole time this man is ranting the cashier is just looking at me waiting for me to say something.  She looks as puzzled as I do.  I had plenty to say but my mom raised me better than that and I took the high road.  I looked at him and said in Spanish “I am a Peace Corps volunteer and I will be living here for 2 years.  Have a nice day.” He left.

After he left the woman cashier just looked at me in disbelief that I hadn’t reacted and said “He’s crazy”.  She then proceeded to tell me that she sees me run every day and I must really love it because I run a lot.  I told her I did and thanked her for checking me out.

I guess being here I’m never going to be fully prepared for anything and I just need to go with the punches.  I could have reacted, I had plenty to say to him, but that wouldn’t have done me any good.  The cashier would have thought I was just as crazy as him and two Americans fighting in bad Spanish in a Nicaraguan super market would be pretty ridiculous and have the whole town talking.  I’m glad I didn’t react the way I could have.  I feel better about myself and have no regrets for the way I handled the situation.  The silver lining here, the Nica cashier totally had my back.  She seemed more offended than I was.  

Why I will stop complaining, suck it up and enjoy being here…

Every day here is a battle. I’m not going to lie, every other hour or every minute my mood can change here.  It’s like constantly having PMS most days.  I wake up most days thinking What the hell am I doing here; especially on weekends when all I want to do is have pancakes with my boyfriend at Magnoli or run on townlake without people cat calling.  The simple things I took for granted are what I am missing the most…It’s times when I’ve hit the bottom that something good always happens.  It could be as simple as a little kid smiling at me and saying hello to me in broken English.  Or like this morning when I  thought today is the day I pack my things and my host mom comes in and offers to teach me how to make mango fresca.  At first I wasn’t in the mood but she brought the mangos in from the backyard and showed me…Then I had the most delicious mango juice for breakfast (maybe not as delicious as chocolate chip pancakes but a million times healthier J). 

It’s not easy and I know no one ever told me Peace Corps was going to be easy.  They say it’s the hardest job you’ll ever love.  As I may not love all parts of the Nica culture there are things I do like about it.  Especially how warm and inviting families are.  I have broken down on multiple occasions sobbing in front of language teachers and my host families.  These people don’t know me, especially my new family but it hasn’t failed when this happens they give me words of encouragement, rub my back or in the case of my new family they hug me and tell me it’s going to be okay.  I’m not proud to say that I actually cry in front of people because it’s actually usually very hard for me to cry in front of people, it takes a lot, but here I’m an emotional train wreck … but I have a ton of support.

So today I am going to enjoy my mango fresca, not think about how much I miss Aaron and a “normal life” but instead I will go for a run and be happy about being here because I chose this.

It's official ...I'm a volunteer

So as of today I have been in Nicaragua for 3 months (24 months to go).  Training was definitely hard and really not a pleasant experience for anyone that doesn’t like to be told when, where, and what they need to be doing.  I felt I didn’t have a moment to myself during training.  If I wasn’t working on preparing for class, preparing for the youth group, going to class, going to the youth group then I was learning Spanish or studying for it.  There really is no downtime and I am constantly exhausted (after effects of training).

On the plus side I did have some very positive experiences during training.

•  The first was our youth group.   Our youth group was comprised of 7 13-14 year olds from a private school who had to make a product, test the product with potential consumers, create a business plan and give a presentation at the Business Fair competition.  I got really lucky with my group.  Our kids were so motivated and they wanted to win.  They put in hard work and really made an effort. Their product was Cale-pizza (pizza on a tortilla named after the kid whose idea it was).  They ended up selling their product at school and made a profit every time.  They also placed 3^rd in the Competition and I was really proud of them.
•  My family…yes there were many many times when I thought I could not live there one more second but then I was remembered how many times I felt that way growing up with my own family…that’s just the way families are.  My host mom during training was one of the sweetest women I have ever met.  She knew I was a picky eater and made me my own food that I would eat.  She also gave me fruit every morning for breakfast (instead of gallo pinto) because she knew I loved fruit.  She taught me how to cook (well some things…I’m a beginner), she found a woman who made peanut butter and gave it to me, and she took care of me when I didn’t feel well.  Upon my leaving she hugged me told me to come eat lunch or dinner at the house anytime and told me I needed to come back soon. 
•  Meeting the other volunteers…We all went through training together, we all got annoyed with each other and we were all there for each other when it came down to it.  I was very lucky to have a training site mate that always had my back even though at times we fought like brother and sister he helped me keep my cool (for the most part) and we got each other through training.  I am also very lucky to have gotten close to 2 very different girls but ultimately these girls have been there for me when I need to vent, cry or just have fun.  We’re a group no matter how close or far we are from eachother.

So the last time I left off on this blog I was about to find out where I’d be placed for the next 2 years…well I did and I am now in my first week in site in Diria, Granada.  The town is about 30 minutes away from Granada and even closer to Mombacho than San Juan de Oriente (and I still get to run to the Laguna and I’m only about 15 minutes from my training townJ).  It’s a fairly small town with about 7,000 people and Diriomo (another site with 2 volunteers) is across the highway.  I am living with 2 older folks who are brother and sister and very kind.  Dona Melida and her brother Diego have welcomed me into their home and both are very caring.  In fact Diego reminds me very much of my grandpa.  He’s a very thin man and he is a tailor for the community.  It’s funny because my grandpa knew how to sew too and gave me my first singer sewing machine.  When I was not feeling well this week both he and Melida asked me what I needed, if they needed to get a doctor and asked me every time they saw me how I was feeling.  My room is here is very nice and the only thing I really need is a fan.  I have a huge armoire they repainted for me and Melida made some new curtains for the armoire even though the other ones were just fine but she thought they looked “muy feo”.  I have running water here, a shower, flushing toilet and a huge kitchen I can use whenever I want.  Oh and my internet Claro stick works so much better here…well when it isn’t raining.  My only complaint …BEETLES…huge ones.  They fly into my room at night and if im not under my mosquito net they will fly around me.  The other night one flew onto my head and I’ve also stepped on them in the middle of the night …GROSS! But it could be worse…mice, scorpions, beetles are definitely not that bad. 

Even after 3 months here I’m still getting use to the culture and food.  I have already had one parasite and my stomach hasn’t felt normal for the past week.  I guess it comes with the territory of living here.  Also, I don’t think I will ever get use to the cat calling that goes on here.  Yesterday I was walking with a fellow volunteer and a man with across his chest while on a cellphone called out to us. All I could think is seriously! You have a baby on your chest…It gets old real fast. It could honestly make a person want to stay indoors all day.  Good news is when I run I can no longer here them because I blast my music so loud.  It’s one solution. 

I have had several “American Experiences”…mostly during swearing in.  I was able to watch 2 movies in Managua which were the highlight of my swearing in weekend and I enjoyed a nice hot shower for 3 days and a pool.  It was pretty fantastic.  I also went to a wonderful restaurant in Managua called El Segndo which has upscale dining.  I definitely needed it after 3 months of being deprived.  I know how lucky I am to be able to take a “break” from this life I live and enjoy things I took for granted on a daily basis.  Being here once again only proves to me how blessed and lucky we are to be Americans.  We have so much of an advantage just being born as US citizens its mind blowing.  Until getting here I never knew how truly lucky we are.  That being said the people here are warm, inviting and loving.  Even though they know what we have in the states and in developed countries they don’t hold grudges.  In fact they have welcomed me into their homes and have cared for me as their own.  I am lucky to be here and I know I am not missing anything back home because nothing has changed, not really.  Life goes on there as it does here.  I am able to talk to my boyfriend every day and we have better more honest conversations now that I’m here than we ever did when I was home.  Being away from the person you love the most in the world puts everything into perspective.  I know after this period in my life I never want to be separated from him again and luckily for me he feels the same.  In less than 3 months he will be here to visit me and I will get to be held in his arms.  Definitely something to look forward to.