Coming Home

My last day in Nicaragua before getting medically evacuated was spent at Galerias (the mall in Managua).  Though I was exhausted I just knew I could not go back to the states with my hair looking the way it did and I needed to get it cut ASAP.  I went an Americanized beauty salon I had heard about and spent about 600 cordobas (crazy amount as a volunteer) to get my haricut.  It was worth it.  I was there for over 2 hours getting pampered and served coffee while the hairdresser cut off 7 inches from my hair.  Even after it was cut my hair still went beyond my shoulders.  I didn’t realize how long my hair had become as I always keep it in a bun or in a braid but apparently it had gotten crazy long.  I also swung by the office to collect my traveling documents and say some see you laters to the PC staff then went back to the hotel to make sure I had everything I needed before the flight took off the next morning. 

I woke up at 4am to make sure I didn’t miss my 8 am flight and had a peace corps taxi pick me up and take me to the airport.  As we drove through Managua on the way to the airport it didn’t seem lke I had only been in country 6 months but so much longer.  At that point in time Nicaragua felt like home.  I had become use to the transportation, food and scary creatures climbing my bedroom walls.  As I waited in line at the airport I wondered if I would even like going home.  I became really nervous and anxious all at once.  During takeoff I looked out the window and saw the lush and beautiful lands Nicaragua offers and I started to cry.  I cried because I didn’t know if I would get the chance to come back…If I would be healthy enough to get back to work. 

As soon as I smelled the barbecue in the airport I knew I was back in the states, to be more specific Texas.  As I walked by the Salt Lick a part of me just wanted to grab some food while the bigger part of me was anxious to see Aaron who was picking me up at baggage claim.  Barbecue or the boyfriend…I chose the boyfriend for the time being.  As the elevator went down I saw him standing and waiting for me.  I did everything I could not to cry as soon as I saw him and somewhat succeeded.  He hugged me so tight I thought I wasn’t going to be able to breathe and I couldn’t stop trembling.  I was nervous and excited all at the same time.  It was a very strange situation…Not seeing someone after 6 months but talking to them every day and then bam everything should just be normal again…probably not. I had forgotten what it felt like to hold his hand or have someone hug or kiss me.  I don’t know how else to describe it except for weird, but in a good way.  It was kind of like getting to meet him all over again, which I loved. 

That evening we went to the Salt Lick for dinner and I can’t even tell you how much I had missed barbecue.  It was a great night and a great couple of days followed after.  I got to visit with friends, saw my family and got to go to Target 5 times in 4 days.  I use to have dreams about Target so going there was a priority for me.  Being back in Texas I did have some reverse culture shock.

•     You can flush toilet paper in the toilet
•      You don’t have to spray a whole bottle of off on your legs to go            somewhere.
•     You don’t need to speak Spanish (even though I miss it)
•     You can eat any type of food known to man
•     AC is something that is common
•     I almost cried walking in to both Central Market and Target because they are both AMAZING

 As for getting healthy and back on track…well it’s been a challenge.  First off there are not peace corps approved doctors, so I set up all appointments on my own but before I can be seen by a doctor it has to be approved by a Peace Corps nurse.  To have any further appointments the nurse has to receive all lab work and doctors notes then she has to consult with a Peace Corps doctor to see if he can approve me having more appointments.  It has been a little over 30 days and I still have no answers as to why I’m not 100%  and why my hemoglobin levels are not back to normal…even though the last time they checked (2 weeks ago) they had climbed up to 10.  The worst part of all of this is I am being denied treatment be Peace Corps until my doctors here can tell them exactly what happened.  So far my doctor’s best guess is that I contracted some weird viral infection that has wiped out my hemoglobin levels but until he can say how I got it Peace Corps won’t allow him to prescribe anything.  So I wait.  Every day I am just waiting for either an appointment to get approved or to get an answer from my doctor.  The hardest part of all of this is not feeling normal.  I haven’t felt normal now for over 2 months.  I haven’t run now for a month and a half.  I miss it so much and never thought I would be put in this position.

I have really mixed emotions at this time.  After my time here I have become used to being back home and being with my boyfriend and friends.  Another part of me misses the other peace corps volunteers tremendously.  I also miss going to Granada and working with the NGO there and I do miss working with at least 2 of my counterparts.  But there are a lot of things I don’t miss… The thoughts of going back and not going back both frighten me and I have no control over any of it.  I am here until the medical office tells me otherwise.

Getting Sick...

It began the last weekend in July.  I woke up on Friday and notice I had a rash all over my body.  I had hives on my face, lips, stomach, arms and legs.  I called the PCMO (PC medical office) and the on duty doctor advised me to go to a pharmacy and pick up some antihistamines and also get a full lab work up to make sure I did not have dengue.  My lab work came back normal and showed no signs of dengue; it also showed that my hemoglobin levels were normal (between 12 to 16).  The antihistamines that were initially prescribed   did not work; in fact it appeared to make things worse.  The next day he prescribed a different antihistamine that my wonderful site mate, Ailish, picked up for me in Granada.  That one did the trick and by Tuesday most of the hives had disappeared. 

Through the month of August I began to feel tired all the time.  I first noticed this when I was running.  I couldn’t run up to the Laguna like I normally did and instead went on flatter trails.  I thought I was just getting lazy.  I also noticed that I began running slower than I normally do but I again thought this was do to the heat (even though I’ve run in Texas summers the past 18 years and never had issues).  As the month went on things only got worse.  I began going to sleep at 9 or 9:30 and had difficulty waking up at 8 am.  I was getting 11 hours of sleep and thought I was just oversleeping but I really couldn’t wake up.  I started doing everything slower.  Walking to class began taking forever and once I got there I was out of breath and my heart was racing.  The second to last week of August I went for a run on a Sunday and on Monday I couldn’t get out of bed.  I was exhausted, my body ached and I had fever and chills.  By Tuesday I felt somewhat normal again.  I was still tired but figured I could go for a run.  I ran for 30 minutes before giving up and knowing I couldn’t go any further.  When I got home I struggled to take a shower.  After a couple of hours I decided I would do laundry.  Not a good idea.  I felt my legs starting to shake as I stood at the pila and caught myself before fainting.  I slowly walked back to my room and lied down the rest of the day.  The rest of the week I felt the same.  By Friday I had enough energy to get on the bus and go to Managua to see the PC doctors.  The doctors sent me to get blood work that Friday and on Saturday I got a call back from them.  The doctor told me that I had a UTI, very common here, and that I was severely anemic.  Within a month my hemoglobin levels had gone from 14 to 6.8.  The doctor asked me to come in on Sunday that way she could see me first thing Monday morning. 

Sunday morning was probably one of the worst days I had ever experienced in Nicaragua.  I had absolutely no energy and the medication the PC doctor prescribed me made me completely nauseous and on top of everything I was throwing up anything I ate.  I finally got enough energy to walk to the bus.  This was probably the worst bus ride ever.  I had a plastic bag ready to go.  I was hot, crammed between two giant men on the world’s most uncomfortable bus and thought my head was going to explode.  I finally made it into Managua an hour later and got to the hostel within 30 minutes.  That night I had fever and chills and the next morning I had difficulty walking to the office which is 10 minutes away.  Monday was a blur filled with more lab work.  By Tuesday they sent me to a doctor at the hospital who wanted to admit me on the spot.  I told him I would prefer not to be admitted but he insisted that if nothing changed I would be admitted on Wednesday.  Well nothing changed, in fact it got worse and I was admitted to Vivian Pelas hospital on Wednesday.  At this point I was exhausted and could barely walk from the car to the wheel chair waiting.  For the next 5 days that I was hospitalized I was given IV’s filled with potassium and magnesium and had blood taken from me twice a day.  I also had visits from specialists like nephrologists, hematologists, and a few others take a look at and none of them could figure out my case.  The highlight of my time in the hospital was when Ailish came and spent the night on the pull out couch.  We got to order papa johns pizza and Miguel brought me brownies that we devoured.  I also got a visit from my APCD who brought more sweets.  Even though I was hospitalized and a little freaked out it wasn’t terrible.  I had AC, cable TV and wifi.  It was almost like being home…except for the fact that I could not leave the floor and had an IV in my arm.  After my five day stay and barely any improvement and not being able to figure out what’s wrong with me the doctors decided they would send me back to Texas to see if the doctors here had any better luck. 

I was released from the hospital on Monday and was driven back to my site to pack up half of my valuables and belongings.  Going back was bittersweet.  I was excited to go home and see my loved ones and get better but I was extremely sad at the thought that I may not be returning.  Ailish came over and helped me pack half of my room.  I was advised to only take valuables just in case I didn’t return.  Everything else would stay put.  I had a half hour to pack up 3 months of my life, say goodby to my host family and then say goodbye to Ailish.  It was the hardest saying goodbye to her as we have become really good friends and I couldn’t imagine living there without her.  Oh and on top of it all I was going to miss her birthday in 2 days.  As I walked out of the house Diego hugged me and Melida blessed me and I was driven back to the hotel for 2 more nights in Managua.